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The Prosecution: Beth

Sometimes she films me while I’m eating. I’ll see myself on her Instagram – it’s like a jumpscare.

A close companion of a decade, she, calls herself the “creativity monarch”. It’s fun for a short while, but it strains our friendship.

She is an extrovert, she feels the need to record everything all the time. During meals out, her motto is, “The camera eats first,” and takes photos with bright lighting, which makes me cringe. I don’t like it when other people see her performing for the camera – I get secondhand embarrassment. Another annoyance is because meals lose their warmth.

She isn’t exactly an influencer yet, but she is aspiring to become one. She creates vlogs about city life, a day in her life, and her styling career. Her content is good, credit where it's due, but I prefer not to be dragged into it. On occasion I'm captured while dining, or just accompanying her. Later, I appear on her Instagram later, and it comes like a jumpscare: I might be no makeup on, an awkward face or be captured while eating. It’s uncomfortable.

She also expects me to record her at inopportune moments. Often I'm in conversation to another person, or we're simply spending time in the street. The dynamic feels like our friendship has transformed into me serving as her unpaid videographer. She has the means to hire someone if she wanted professional shots. When I brought up my unease about the situation, she dismissed it. She’s taken me to several industry functions, which were appreciated, but that doesn’t make up for all the time and effort I invest helping her create material.

I appreciate that Marielle has helped me with my career in design, but I don’t want our friendship to become just a ledger of favours. I don’t feel she’s fake or inauthentic, but at times it seems that if recording starts, we will start performing in a way that makes us look good for her vlog.

Her directive is, “OK, look happy!” and record me smiling with someone. It’s so silly. I need her to recognize that our decade-long friendship still has boundaries. I enjoy being with her, but I also desire to experience it without being filmed, altered, or shared for an audience. I am not a prop for her Instagram.

The Other Side: The Content Creator's View

I hope my friend to see that the content we make together can get us an opportunity.

I am passionate about shooting content. It’s not just a pastime; it’s part of who I am. Creating videos and sharing my life online allows me to show my personality and engage with people in novel forms.

I don’t see myself as a professional creator yet, but it’s smart to make money from your passions. I look up to people on social platforms who pull off that aesthetic of informal, self-made content creation.

Content creation is my version of engaging with life: noticing the details, posting them with an viewership that appreciates the art behind it. It's never my aim to make my friend uneasy. Bringing her to professional gatherings was my method of offering access, providing her a chance to experience exclusive moments that could help her professional path too. That’s not leverage, it's simply being pragmatic.

I’d still take her to these events even if she didn’t help me, but I desire her to see what the content we make together can get us: a foot in the door. I understand not everyone likes being on camera, but sometimes spontaneity is what makes material genuine. Being recorded from time to time is part and parcel of being my companion. I would delete anything she requested, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don’t expect anybody to be my personal videographer, but friends support one another in small ways. My assumption was recording a clip here or there would be enjoyable for her. Innovation flourishes in partnership, and having Beth around makes projects energetic and enjoyable. I don't compel her to participate in anything, and I would never deliberately humiliate her. But creating content jointly occasionally is part of how I record our time together.

I cherish Beth’s friendship profoundly and want to avoid content creation to drive a wedge between us. I’m willing to compromise: like asking before filming, and avoiding shots that might make her uncomfortable.

This is not about power, it's regarding sharing my world while still respecting hers. Obviously making content is not a replacement for genuine friendship: it’s just part of how I experience life and I desire her to be included in a way that’s agreeable for both of us.

Outside Perspectives: Reader Opinions

Should Marielle stop recording herself and Beth when they are socializing?

Nothing is more excruciating than having a companion point a camera at you. I understand that it’s Marielle’s job, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my work. Perhaps she can find like-minded creators to create content with. With the uncertain future of AI, personal relationships are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
Liberty, 25

When pursuing something professionally, it's unfair to expect your friends for assistance repeatedly, even if they have helped previously. If Marielle loves creating, that doesn't imply everyone around her is content. She must to honor her friend's personal space.
Ankit, 26

She may enjoy producing videos and showing off her life publicly, but it’s not for everyone. It’s nice she has assisted her friend professionally, but she must to listen to what Beth wants.
A commenter, 27

It seems like you care about each other, so hold on to that and make sure it’s the priority in your relationship. Foster some authentic memories, where true emotions are preserved, not online archives. In fact, celebrities who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more secrecy than it seems.
One opinion, 53

She seems to be neither present nor authentic when they're together – she's on the job. Both seem unsure as to what’s reasonable. The solution is not found in trying to change one another, but in each establishing clear limits around what feels acceptable to them and seeing if there is an mutually agreeable compromise.
A final view, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

In an online poll: has she been exploiting their bond?